Monday, April 24, 2006

Follow Up

I got the Prosecutor job!

I'm so gunnin' for your asses this fall.

Actually, To Hell With YOU, Bitch

So, in the spirit of knowing thy enemy, & all that, I've put myself in the line of fire and picked up a second hand copy of Caitlin Flanagan's "To Hell With All That." It is as infuriating as you would expect. I'd like to share a few of my favorite bits & maybe comentate on them a bit. As infuriating as the entire tome is proving to be, and considering the fact that I couldn't even get through the preface without having to fight to urge to hurl the wretched piece of literature across my bedroom, I'm just going to point out my favorite bits, and follow them with my comments.

Ok, I'm not quite done yet, & it's pretty long, so I think this will be an on-going series.

Preface
"Affluent working mother stubbornly insist that no one question their commtment to their children, while at-home mothers demand that the world confer on them the social cachet that comes with working outside the home. But [sic] these are mutually exclusive demands." However, let's all thank God & Bog that there's someone like Mrs. Flanagan who has the skill and wherewithall to rise above either of these categories. She, great exemplar of womanhood that is is, has managed to be both a housewife AND an affluent career woman. It's nice to know that the categories are not truly mutually exclusive, I just wish I were as AWESOME as Caitlin so that I could do the same.

Oh, my god. This is my favorite. The following statements are what Flanagan believes are the tenants fo the modern feminist movement.
1. "Girls do not have a natural interest in homemaking." Well, I don't know if it's NATURAL, per se, but I can certainly share the joy I had in getting new flatware and serving pieces for my birthday. They make me want to have a dinner party!
2. "A young woman should not spend any of her energies finding a suitable husband and preparing for her life as a wife and mother." Now, I tell ya, my interest in the institution of marriage is very low, outside of recognizing its fiscal responsibility for a long term relationship. That said, I certainly want to expend SOME energy, so that I don't end up with the morbidly obese manager of the local McDonald's.
3. "A woman doesn't need a man, and a child doesn't need a father." Yes, a child is more likely to grow up healthy, or whatever, in a stable 2-parent household. Does this household need to have a man and a woman? No. Does a woman NEED a man in her life? If she does, she has some personal dependency issues she needs to work out before she'll ever find herself in a truly healthy relationship, anyway.
4. "Caring for the emotional and physical needs of a husband constitutes subservience." When done in the way you imply, which is to say that his emotional and physical needs come before hers, true. A relationship should be fair, equal, and both partners should spend equal energies caring for the emotional and physical needs of their partner.
5. "Paid professional work outside the home is the most valuable way for a woman to assert her intelligence and native gifts onto the world." While I HATE to disagree with you, Catie, baby, I fail to see how my natural gifts are asserted by making sure the floor is vaccuumed, the TV is dusted everyday, and dinner is on the table by 6:30 every night. Go bake me a pie, bitch.
6. "There is no connection between the number of hours a woman spends with her child and the nature of her relationship with that child." Well, obviously, relationships change depending on your interaction with that person. That said, I've never had whiney-ass separation anxiety that was brought on because my mother *gasp* had a job and wasn't home every fucking minute. Yes, Catie, I was a latch-key kid. I have most of a J.D. and healthy relationships with my parents. You have emotional issues and kids who wish you would leave them alone for 10 minutes so they can develop their own personalities.

She finishes by looking at the format of her book. It's a collection of essays she's written during her career. (Nothing like a good self-loathing feminist to make us all feel god about ourselves.) Apparently, it's going to start out with her opinions on sex and weddings. I've read some of it, so I have to bite my tongue & not ruin it, but let's just say that I have a hard time listening to someone preach "'Til death do us part," from someone who starts her essay talking about her second marriage.
Also, and this is running off the assumption that you watched her interview from The Colbert Report, I don't believe she has any interest in sex. Have you ever seen a more frigid bitch in need of a good humping? For the love of God & Bog, someone go hump that woman!

Back to studying for finals.